


Nightmare

by KellynKupcake



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:21:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellynKupcake/pseuds/KellynKupcake
Summary: John has one of those nightmares that you can’t quite shake once you wake up. He turns to Abigail for comfort.
Relationships: Abigail Roberts Marston/John Marston
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I dreamt last night that I found a secret ending during RDR where Abigail was the one that died and through his heartbreak, John was dealing with a lot of regret for how he treated her through life. I woke up and immediately wrote this fic. 
> 
> Apologies for any mistakes, I only read it through once.

John stared out at the distant mountains. The wind rustling the long, dry grass that scratched at his waist.

His hair fluttered lightly in the breeze. Tickling his cheeks as he looked around to try and get his bearings.

The sun was just above setting in the sky and he wasn’t sure where the hell he was. Much less how he got there.

There was a strange dull ache in his chest and couldn’t remember why. The weird sensation seemed to permeate his bones. His body felt feeble as though he hadn’t eaten in weeks.

That was when he saw her.

She was standing in front of him. Only a few meters away. He frowned, wondering how he hadn’t seen her earlier. It was if she had just appeared out of thin air.

Abigail smiled at him, her hair long and flowing framed her face in a way he rarely got to see. Her dress was white lace. Similar to a wedding gown and for a second he wondered if he had forgotten an important date.

She was gorgeous.

But something was wrong. He realized as she moved closer. Her body was shimmering in the sunlight and he could see the grass move through her as if she wasn’t really there.

It was then that he remembered.

Flashes of a gun fight. Her cry as she was shot. The hole in her chest. The look in her eyes as they lost their shine.

His entire body shivered at the memory. Sickness rising in him as she tried to shake it from his mind.

Abigail came towards him, looking concerned as he began to shake.

Her wound was missing. She was whole again. But he knew she was not real.

She reached for him as she drew near. Eyes glinting again as if they had never stopped as she held out her hand for him to take.

He shook his head, knowing this wasn’t real. It was a trick of the mind.

She was dead.

Abigail gestured once more for him to take her hand and he winced at the disappointment in her eyes.

His hand quivered as he held it out tentatively, their fingertips touching momentarily before his hand fell through hers and he yanked it back in surprise, holding it against his chest as if he’d been burned.

Abigail smiled at him sadly, taking a step towards him and forcing him to step backwards out of her reach.

She stopped in her tracks, sighing at his reluctance.

It was appropriate, he thought. He was as reluctant to get close to her in death as he was in life. But for different reasons.

He watched, unable to comprehend what was happening as she tried once more. Taking another step towards him, this time reaching for his face.

He let her touch him, screwing his eyes shut as she pressed her hand against his face and he was surprised to find it warm. He opened his eyes, trying to take her hand in his but his palm sat flat against his cheek and his brows furrowed as she leaned in. Lips ghosting over his before she suddenly disappeared, making him jump.

He looked around wildly, still holding his cheek as he called for her.

“Abi?” He asked quietly, pulling his hand back to his chest and turning to search all around him.

“Abi?” He shouted, voice uneven as his heart began to race.

“Abigail!” He screamed, body trembling, heart feeling as if it was about to explode through his chest.

John opened his eyes with a jolt, whole body lurching as his vision came back to him and he realized where he was. He blinked at the cracked ceiling. Gasping for breath as he registered his room at Shady Belle.

“Jesus…” He whispered through uneven breaths. “Fuck.” He grumbled, bring a hand to wipe his face and realizing he was crying.

He pulled his hand away, staring at the wetness and feeling something akin to guilt stab in his chest.

He turned to look at the leg of the bed next to him. Unable to see much of Abigail from his position on the floor.

She had been sleeping in the bed alone since they arrived. He didn’t feel it was right to force her to share despite his recent change of heart towards her and the boy.

John grit his teeth, looking back to the moldy ceiling and wishing the tightness in his chest would leave him. Begging the unusual fog that seemed to cloud the room to leave so he could rise and go on with his day like normal.

He knew he’d suffered nightmares as a child but only due to the recounting of other Gang members. He never actually remembered them in the morning and he was always embarrassed by his unconscious reaction.

This was different. He felt it wasn’t just a nightmare but a warning. A threat to stop taking Abigail for granted or he would lose her.

The thought made bile rise in his throat. He swallowed it down automatically, standing quickly and moving beside Abigail’s bed. Careful not to tread on Jack who was sleeping peacefully on his bedroll next to her.

He watched her for a minute. Unsure what exactly his plan had been when he’d stood.

Not wanting to wake her he gently sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at her stunning face as she slept serenely.

His whole body felt heavy. His stomach sick and his head faint. He wanted nothing more than to curl up beside her but there wasn’t enough room.

He leaned over her, placing a hand on either side of her body and slowly climbing up and over. The bed creaked under his weight and Abigail stirred as he accidentally brushed her body with his.

She didn’t open her eyes, knowing already that it was him without having to look. The way the bed shifted told her the person was too large to be Jack and no one else would dare lie beside her while she slept. She would skin them alive and they knew it.

“What are you doin’?” She mumbled as John settled in beside her. Eyes still closed, tone annoyed.

It wasn’t like him to ever wake her unless it was completely necessary. In fact she usually rose on her own well before him. It was strange for him to be awake first.

John didn’t answer, unsure what to say. His heart was in his throat and his eyes were burning. He felt strange.

Weak.

Scared.

His hand trembled as he reached for her. Wrapping it around her waist and pulling himself flush against her side. Resting on is elbow, watching her for a reaction.

Waiting to be pushed away.

Abigail cracked an eye open, questioning him with her gaze. He stared at her sadly, hand tightening and jaw tensing.

She frowned at the forlorn look on his face. She opened her other eye and inspected him closer. A small gasp leaving her as she registered his red eyes and the tear streaks on his cheeks.

She was unsure what this was but understanding all the same that he was in distress. She felt her heart skip a beat. Fear taking hold as she whipped her head around to check on Jack. He was sound asleep on the bedroll next to her. She sighed in relief, turning back to John and reaching out a hand.

“What happened?” She asked softly, placing her hand on his shoulder and watching him crumple under her touch.

He curled over her. Placing his head on her chest and pressing himself against her tightly. He felt desperate for her, like no matter how close he was to her there still wasn’t enough contact.

He clung to her, lip trembling against her breast as he inhaled a stuttered breath. His heart was racing, his chest aching. Tears began to fall again before he could stop them. Soaking into the fabric of her shirt and giving him away.

“John…” Abigail said softly, unable to hide her surprise. She pressed a hand to his back, petting softly while the other moved to his head. She ran her fingers through his hair, scratching at his scalp and making him shiver. “It’s alright.” She whispered, uncertain of herself. She still had no idea what was going on. Only that this usually stoic, distant, man she had come to love was seemingly falling apart in her arms.

John cried quietly, rubbing his face against her chest as he sobbed into her blouse. His heart was well and truly on his sleeve and he was scared. Terrified of what this meant for him. But more than anything frightened of rejection.

He had been horrid to her lately. His only saving grace the fact that he had worked so hard to get Jack back from Bronte. He knew he didn’t deserve her love but in this moment he wanted it badly. Desperately.

“Don’t go.” He choked, unable to say more than that as Abigail furrowed her brows in confusion.

“Go where?” She asked incredulously, her tone light-hearted.

John didn’t respond, burying his face deeper into her chest and pursing his lips to keep himself from openly sobbing. His shoulders shaking from the effort as he tried frantically to prevent himself falling apart completely.

“Just…” He managed. A long pause between words as Abigail shifted to wrap her arms around him fully and pull him to her tightly. “Don’t.” He said finally, the pain in his chest starting to ease with her embrace.

Abigail smiled sadly, staring down at the dirty mop of hair on her torso and humming lightly in response.

John slackened slightly at the sound, pressing his ear against her so he could hear her heartbeat. Abigail petted him gently, her maternal instincts taking over automatically. She hummed to herself again in the same way she would to calm Jack. Unconsciously rocking them both as she did so.

John felt content in her arms. The tight feeling finally starting to loosen as his eyes began to feel heavy.

It was late already. He would be expected downstairs soon to start the day but he couldn’t bring himself to leave. Enjoying this tender moment far too much to let is slip through his fingers.

He swallowed at the thought. Remembering the way his hand had fallen through hers in his dream. The feeling of absolute terror and helplessness as he had called for her. Knowing deep down that she was gone.

That he would never see her again.

He inhaled sharply, eyes flying open to try and shock his system into forgetting.

Abigail felt his sudden shift. Shushing him softly and encouraging him to relax with soft strokes up and down his back.

He eased back into her embrace, calming his breathing and letting his eyes fall closed once more.

“We can stay here as long as you like.” Abigail whispered suddenly, catching him off guard. He tightened his grip on her waist, curling into her further. Wanting nothing more than to stay here forever. “Ain’t no one gonna miss us if we’re late to breakfast.” Abigail cooed, as if reading his mind.

His lips quirked and he found himself smiling. Tears still falling from his eyes as relief began to flood his chest, overtaking the painful tightness.

Relief at the fact that she didn’t mind. But not only did she not mind, she seemed to actually want to be here with him as well. She wasn’t rejecting him even though he knew he deserved that and more.

He sighed contentedly, deciding she was right. They could lie in a little longer and no one would mind.

His thoughts began to cloud as he started to drift off. The feeling of her fingers dancing along his spine turning him to jelly.

Abigail felt him begin to relax and stopped her ministrations. Concentrating on holding him tight as he fell back into slumber. Staring at the ceiling and wondering what the hell she had done to deserve this change of heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked this impromptu fic. Please let me know if you did! Comments keep me motivated! ❤


End file.
